i’m also at

ing-guhl-nook.tumblr.com 

GO THERE! 

I was casually browsing facebook at wee hours in the morning and I stumbled across a page of an old friend… well friend? acquaintance? former classmate? All I know is he was in several of my classes in high school and I made him a birthday card once because he had said that he never received birthday cards on his birthday. Tangent. Anyways, he was a bit chubby I guess in high school and generally not one of those people that you LOVE to hang out with. By personality, he was mildly abrasive- more to some than others- he acted a bit condescending, like a know it all- but granted he was quite intelligent so I do suppose some of the above was allowed. But, this kid I felt was never really that happy, or maybe my imagination is replaying memories more dramatically than they actually occurred. Point is, I came across his page and instead of the chubby class mate of high school with those not really smiling smiles, who was by conventional standards, a bit nerdy/ dork/ uncool; I found a rather fit (pretty good looking), happy, college student, who by standards now would be considered pretty cool and socially well adjusted. And you know what? Good for you my friend, good for you.  If you weren’t getting the ladies then, you sure are now.

:)  

Smart people. They don’t understand normal people…

NORMAL people need to buy a textbook, read it and do problems, not everyone can just get A’s without reading their textbook.
NO, I DO NOT need YOU to do my webassign for me, just because I didn’t do it FIVE DAYS BEFORE it’s due does NOT mean that I won’t do it and it ALSO doesn’t mean I need YOUR help. —- Honestly, just because I do things slower doesn’t mean I won’t do it or I can’t do it ON MY OWN. … so stop patronizing me…  I don’t need your notes, Idon’t need your help- if I did, I’d ask, I’m not a retard- I… GTFO 

I’ve been studying since I woke up at 10: 30… it is now 6: 30… that makes 8 hours… I think I’m allowed to watch ONE 1 hour episode of a drama without any comments from you.

Sincerely,
Unappreciated Daughter. 

18 years. going on 19- the longer I stay in this house, the greater the chance I’ll never come back after I graduate and find a job. As much as I like Jersey, Cali is sounding better and better all the time.

Keep throwing Bible verses at me, ones that do not relate in any way- pretty soon I’ll just be immune to whatever you say.

The only reason I’m pushing for this degree is to get a job, be self sufficient and move out of here. And when I’m gone, you’ll wish you gave me freedom earlier.

Given recent occurrences, I was challenged by the question “what do you believe in?” I used to think… easy… God… I believe in God… period. But then I rethought… everyone and anyone can believe in ‘God’… - I think James 2: 19 sums up that thought nicely…

“you believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that and shudder.”

Clearly, it’s not just belief in God that saves… everyone believes in God in one way or another… - so what truly sets me apart? 

some would say works, if you’re a good person you’re saved… if you’re a good person you’ll get into heaven… if you’re a good person (and you go to church) you’re a Christian. 

But when Jesus was crucified there were two men with him, two of the vilest criminals for those who were crucified were charged of the greatest crimes but Jesus told him (Luke 23: 43)

“and he said to him, ‘Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.’”

so it’s not because of works we are saved, it’s not because we are good people, it’s because we recognize ourselves as the dirtiest creatures, the lowest of lows, sinners, people undeserving of the mercy that He has shown us, people not worthy to be even created in God’s image.  

“27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. […] 31 And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” (Genesis 1: 27, 31).

God called us good but even those who are “good” sin. Even those who are good are imperfect, unworthy, unholy, impure. Being good is not enough. Compared to Jesus Christ no one is good. Compared to God nothing we do will ever be enough.

So what is it? if I cannot be saved just by believing in God, if I cannot be saved just by being a good person, doing good things… what can save me?

Faith. Repentance. God’s grace, God’s mercy. Jesus Christ who became flesh and died for me. Admittance that I am unholy, I am impure, I am unworthy, I am imperfect, I cannot do it alone, I need someone, I need God, I need forgiveness, I am a sinner, I am no better than anyone else, just because I don’t drink, have sex, smoke, lie, cheat or steal doesn’t make me better than the next person who does. Recognizing that it is God and God alone who can save me. Realizing that I can’t work my way into heaven, realizing that NOTHING I do is enough. Nothing. Realizing that the only one who saves is God. I cannot save myself and will only become weary if I try. 

I am set apart by my belief and faith in God. That He is the only one who can save me. By faith in Him come my good works, by faith in Him comes my ability to abstain from such things, by faith in Him I work towards being more Christ-like, being refined through fire as gold, slowly being melted, molded and worked more towards perfection.

Being a Christian isn’t about being a good person, it isn’t about just believing,

“What good is it, my brothers, if something says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him?”  (James 2: 14)

“Faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” (James 2: 17).

It’s about fully relying on God, trusting in Him to be your only Savior, knowing that without Him I am nothing, I am less than nothing. What sets me apart is not only my belief in God, it’s my belief in God and ACTING upon those beliefs. Being a Christian isn’t about the label, about going to church, about singing Christian songs, listening to Christian music, it’s about the walk, the life, the actions. You cannot have faith without works because if you truly believe, you will do anything to live in accordance to His will, His rules, what He wants you to do. You don’t do things because it’s the “right” thing to do, the “good” thing to do, the “proper” thing to do, you do things because it’s what He wants and what He wants is ALWAYS the right thing, always the good thing, always the proper thing. If you believe in Him truly, He will change your life accordingly and that is what it means to be a Christian, to sacrifice all you have for Him because He did it for us first.

Being a Christian is a lifestyle and that’s what sets me apart. I try to live up to God’s standards, to imitate the holy and blameless and sinless life of Jesus Christ because in the end, He’s the only one that really matters.

Ephesians 2: 8- 10 says…

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not of your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

after talking for a bit, i don’t mind being the “mother” at least people know that i care and i’ll always care- so you know what? screw that! I’ll be your mother if you need me to be because i think that’s what i was meant to do-
thanks for reminding me that even if i am “mommy” i still serve a purpose.

so i can be your mommy if you need me to be.
bring on your issues!- except nothing about hair growing in weird places or puberty cuz dangit you should be past puberty issues! i don’t have to deal with those “issues”. Ask me in 6 years when i can give you meds for that.